Monday, March 27, 2006

Obsessed

This post is not by the author of this blog. This is an Obsessed man speaking. For sometime now, people have been asking where I have been. For a long time now, people haven't known me. For a long time to come, people will remember me.

I am not one of you. I am he who walks against the crowd.

Some people do not like the color red. I Love The color red. It symbolises Blood....and at times, death. Blood is what sometimes people spill in order to get ahead of others.

I was not like this initially. I have become what you made me. Love me or hate me, I am what you turned me into.

Do not misunderstand this rage. It is neither misdirected, nor is it going to go useless. It is directed at you and it is going to tear you apart. Not because of anything else, only because you stand in my way. Nothing personal, just life.

Isn't that what you taught me to do when you did the same thing to me??

I listen to hard rock and gangster rap. But you will still not be able to spot me in a crowd. I'm not dressed like a punk; I don't have a goatee, I don't wear faded jeans, I don't wear torn shirts, I don't have wild, pink-colored hair. I'm dressed in a pin-striped suit, the same one that you saw me wearing today morning on television. Only difference is, I was smiling then, shaking hands with other 'important' people. Now, I'm staring hard at you, my deathly stare makes the hardest of men cringe and shift uneasily in their seats. They call it the stare of the fox.

I wasn't happy when I left my previous state of thinking. I hated myself for what I'd become. I hated the world of hatred, the world of stabbing knives in the back of people, of feasting by tearing flesh apart and quenching my thirst with blood. But I had no other option. You left me no other option. I had to become like this. It was a question of survival.

There are no Gods in my world; the only God here is me, and I control my own destiny.

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
Ha !! No one knew it better. I've killed people, I've had them murdered, had them removed from my path. Only because they were in my way. And I did all this with the same sense of calmness with which I would pick up and throw away a pebble which happened to be in my path.

But, am I happy now? You bet!! Or perhaps, it cannot be defined as happiness. But at least, I'm alive. Isn't that what people told me to be? Alive?!! If this is what you define as alive, then alive I am.

I told them that this is not what I want to be. Give me another option, and I'll gladly take it. I wanted to be a truly happy man, with the sweet sun shining, sitting in the shade of a tree, writing sonnets for my sweetheart and reading them out to her as she lovingly gazed back at me. But it wasn't to be, it wasn't to be...

Remember the line that Eminem sings in the song "Loose yourself" - "Success is my only motherf****** option; failure's not." Well, that's the mantra in my world.

I will not apologise for a dark post. I intended it to be one ~ The Obsessed.

9 comments:

mini said...

oye!

Babu Moshai said...

thnx,me trying

shweta said...

thts how life goes ....trying to ....lets say root out everybuddy to uproot oneself...
we keep searching for the survival kit ...but we forget tht oxygen is a symbol of peace ....
we bcome machiavelli's ....apply chankya''s niti to outlaw every law ...nd call it ...the scoietal law of survival ...
we r all satan's ...mainpulating the down fall of man ...
the only odd is "the temptation"....
is jst not apple its the whole wrld ...
all the materialistic value failing ..failing to satiate the hunger within ...

shweta said...

man i rock ...kidding

ani said...

ur post reminded of someone who is not like this when possessed, but the person's normal state is this. possessed is what that person is wen its like u n me!! there's sumthn that person said to me once - "at least i control my own life!" those words hit me and made me think that dnt u n me control our lives???

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