Do not even ask me how and why I made the transition from “not blogging” to “ok fine, I’m blogging again”. There was just something within me which went ‘click’ and which said “Stop blogging, it’s not helping you”. Again, last night, something inside me just went “click” and said “Hmm..start blogging again, it will help you.” With all this ‘click’-ing happening inside me, I almost feel like an Anchor switch! How mischievous the human mind is! In fact, I almost contemplated starting an anonymous blog, but then I dropped the idea.
Finally though, I’m back home. I must admit that the first few days back in Calcutta didn’t feel like I was back home. I mean, where was the peaceful sigh that I was waiting for all along? Where was the peace of mind and peace of heart, which told me ‘Ok, you’re on a B-R-E-A-K..Chillax dude!!”
But yes, opening up to a certain extent in front of ‘her’ yesterday made me feel much better. I just let go and told her most of the problems/frustrations that had become a part of my life. And of course, I did the best thing today by going ahead and telling her of the reasons and places where I’d gotten upset with her during the last few months. Thank God I was finally honest and told her what I actually feel when she calls up at times when I’m busy with work. Of course, I must thank Providence…and ‘her’ too…for giving me the opportunity to vent my outburst. It was she who pointed out to me that I’d been rude to her a couple of times over the last few months when she’d called up. And then, I just told her what I felt. Unfortunately, I was cut short when Dad called up and reminded me that Mom’s dinner + neighbouring ghar ki aunty ka dosa were eagerly waiting for me back home. And the fact that she and I will be meeting tomorrow in the company of friends when we go for a movie really doesn’t help matters. I hope we can have a good complete conversation soon.
Ha ha. Surprisingly, she hasn’t yet made a comment about my long hair. No no, do not get me wrong. I don’t have a hairstyle which would remind you of Shabana Azmi in ‘Makdee’. Just that my hair is slightly long-er than what is normal for your run-of-the-mill dressed-in-formals, slick-gel-applied-hair and pin-striped-suit clad MBA.
My hair has been a constant source of consternation for people around me. The curls in my hair at unbelievable locations have always been a source of ‘head’ ache for the barbers. I still remember the confused look on Salim bhai’s face when he would have a scissor in one hand and a comb in another. He would turn towards my hair and would suddenly have the same look on his face that I used to have in school when my biology teacher asked me to draw an arthropod on the blackboard. Well, as for the current situation, I plan to just go in the next 3 days to a decent hair salon and ask the hair stylist to do what he feels best, given my intentions of keeping long hair.
I was just packing my bags for Mumbai a few minutes ago. It felt awkward. Never before in my life have I been packing my bag for another place barely 3 days after coming back home. But, I guess, I’d better get used to such a life. Ha!! Here comes the globetrotter…
One thing that the one year of Nirma hasn’t changed is my attitude towards the saas-bahu serials. I’m sure there must be some website dedicated to anti-‘saas-bahu’ soaps. I still get a headache when I so much as just listen to the dialogues that some of these serials spew out. God!! What nonsense. “…main uska dard samajh sakti hoon, kyun ki main bhi ek aurat hoon”, and “…maine tumhaare liye bahut balidaan diye hain, lekin main apni beti ki zindagi ko tabaah nahin hone doonga”. Yes, don’t stare in amazement; the second quote was made by the male protagonist, not the female lead.
There is one difference in me, however. Earlier, when I used to settle down for dinner and Mom used to switch the channels to one where such a soap was being aired, I used to walk away and have the dinner in my room. Now, I patiently continue to have the dinner on the dining table itself. To hell with the headache yaar, ek saal ke baad ghar pe hain, this is the least I can do for my parents i.e. give them the satisfaction that I’m ‘properly’ having a dinner in front of them.
Yaar, I just love my parents so much…even if I can hear Mom complaining right now to Dad in the other room how I refused to pack 2 shirts that she selected from my old pile of clothes. *Smiles*