Thursday, March 13, 2008

Marriage / Merger Proposal

So I walk into our cabin which seats 4 people and my colleague Kiran tells me, "I've sent you a mail. Please check and reply." So I sigh and settle down into my seat to find the following in my inbox:

From: Kiran RS. Kumar
To: Shekhar Ruparelia
Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2008 5:59 PM
Subject: Fwd: Marriage Proposal

Is she ok for ur marriage






And so, here was the mail that I sent back to him:

From: Shekhar Ruparelia
Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2008 6:34 PM
To: Kiran RS. Kumar
Cc: Gaurav Prakash
Subject: Re: Marriage proposal

Dear Kiran,

First of all, many thanks for the brilliant job done in shortlisting a target for the proposed merger. You've surpassed my expectations and my regards for the same.

The target for the proposed merger seems great... however, prior to final negotiation deals, I would most definitely have to conduct further meetings with the party concerned. This would be required in order to study the compatibility of the mission, vision and values of the two organisations (in order to gauge the cohesiveness of the two cultures) before the proposed merger. Also, I would request you to present the time-frame till the time of proposed merger in a matrix format, with inputs on date, location and duration of meeting with the party concerned.

Please keep in mind that the proposed merger is to be considered only after a span of 2-3 years since I am still not EBITDA positive. This is due to a current trend wherein there is heavy cash outflow post my monthly receipts. These expenditures are primarily made towards our vendors (landlord, newspaper-wallah, eateries, beer-shop owner etc.) and while your eagerness to see the proposed merger happening as soon as possible is much appreciated by me, you must also acknowledge that my commitment towards the vendors is also non-negotiable.

Finally, I would also like to inform you that the proposed merger with the third party shall be subject to approval from my 2-bench Board of Directors (Mom and Dad) currently holding office in Calcutta.

Request you to revert back ASAP since I too am eagerly looking forward to future negotiations with the proposed party.

Regards,

Shekhar Ruparelia

7 comments:

ani said...

u have a 3 bench board of directors!!!! Grrr...!

trash_u said...

hahahaha
tu to gaya...
waise me n mini had formulated an agressive merger strategy for you, few weeks back..
(private equity players can create havoc u knw... ;)

(( hush hush ... just dont wanna bring unnecessary ripple in the market.. so its in cold))

coffee said...

good going...lage raho!!!!

Shekhar said...

ani: Hmm.... ~deep thought~

trash_u: Shhh !! Abbe yaar, tujhe kitni baar samjhaya hai, insider trading ki baat public forum mein nahi kiya karte...

Virgo said...

That was a good one!!! your reply seems to be so very much in tune with ur eagerness to meet with the third party....All the best

Shekhar said...

virgo: ~laughs~ Yes, there certainly is an eagerness to meet her.. but will the meeting happen over a cup of coffee at a cafe or over a board-room meeting table in some hi-fi office..?? :)

ammu said...

hehehehehehehohohohohohohohohohohoho!!!!!!!!!!!!